Curiouser and Curiouser!

Curiouser and Curiouser! on humour http://matt.blogs.it/ RSS feed for topic humour Copyright 2006 Matt Mower Squib/0.1 self@mattmower.com self@mattmower.com en-gb Will Durst - good comedy Tue, 20 Aug 2002 22:00:24 +0100 Just been watching comedian Will Durst on TV.  Very funny guy. My favourite line?  On ol Shrub <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> "He's like a stripper with hairy legs.  He's got some smooth moves, but, even from the bar you can tell that something is horribly wrong."</BLOCKQUOTE> There was a lot more and I'd definitely like to see him live. http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000393.html Ride sharing declared illegal! Fri, 23 Aug 2002 07:51:14 +0100 <A href="http://www.bbspot.com/News/2002/08/ride_sharing.html">BBspot</A> is a "satirical news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible or don't have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere." [<A href="http://www.scripting.com/">Scripting News</A>] <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> Ford Testifies to Stop Ride Sharing Washington DC - William Ford Jr., CEO of the Ford Motor Company testified before Congress about the nationwide problem of ride sharing. Ford cited ride swapping as the number one reason for the the company's declining revenue. "These 'pool pirates are depriving Ford of rightful income. Three sometimes four people are sharing rides. Less wear and tear on the cars means fewer new car purchases. That's revenue that's being robbed from Ford." » Fantastic!</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000442.html Shrub declares war on suitcases Fri, 13 Sep 2002 11:04:45 +0100 Now, Snuffy (by way of Dick), seems to think that Saddam the Weasel has some kind of weapon that can get to the United States. We know he doesn't have ICBMs, so Snuffy tells us he has something far worse: suitcases. [<A href="http://blogs.salon.com/0001293/2002/09/08.html#a20">Pesky the Rat</A>] <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> » rotflmao</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000542.html Are you in possession of an unlicensed chicken? Fri, 13 Sep 2002 11:34:36 +0100 Blograts, my patience for these <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place>Hollywood</st1:place> folks is wearing thin.  When chicken sex is regulated, can rodents and humans be far behind?  Think carefully.  Are you presently in possession of an unlicensed chicken? Have you had eggs for breakfast? Better head for <st1:country-region><st1:place>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region>the DMCA will be coming for you.  [<A href="http://blogs.salon.com/0001293/2002/09/12.html#a25">Pesky the Rat</A>] <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> » More rodentary commentary.</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000544.html Put the saltwater crocodiles in with the water buffaloes Mon, 23 Sep 2002 22:57:09 +0100 <A href="http://www.theshiftedlibrarian.com/2002/09/22.html#a2803">The Difference Between Boys And Girls</A>. I'm officially addicted to <A href="http://www.sgn.cc/other/ssx_tricky_ps2/review_ps2.shtml">SSX Tricky</A> for Playstation 2, and I've only played it three times. We just got it this weekend. The kids have been doing so well in school, that we decided to buy them each a game and a book. So we went to <A href="http://www.gamestop.com/">Gamestop</A> and Brent picked SSXT. Kailee, on the other hand, searched and searched but couldn't find something she really wanted. She briefly considered getting Monopoly, but it's just sad how few video games there are for 8-year old girls. In the end, Kailee decided she wanted to go to <A href="http://www.bestbuy.com/">Best Buy</A> and get <A href="http://www.tycoonresource.com/zootycoon/">Zoo Tycoon</A>, which is a really great game. It's difficult for me to watch her play it because I'm Type A and I get frustrated when she names an exhibit the "monkey zoo," puts elephants in it, and then puts so many trees in that you can't even see the elephants anymore. But she loves it, and whenever an animal becomes unhappy, she says, "Oh, my poor babies." She has yet to try SSX Tricky. Six-year old Brent (soon to be known as "seven-year old Brent), on the other hand, has already mastered SSXT because one of his friends has it. He played it several times this weekend, but he also got into Zoo Tycoon, too. Except that he went for the chaos. He let the tigers out so that they could chase the people, he put the leopards in an exhibit with the chickens, and he put the saltwater crocodiles in with the water buffaloes (which upset Kailee to no end because one of the buffaloes had just given birth to a baby). He also deliberately put the bathrooms off the paths so that the "zoo patrons" couldn't get to them and would be unhappy. Kailee's bedtime request tonight was that Brent not be allowed to play ZT anymore. She also deliberately didn't save his game, even though she told him it was an "accident." Now I can't wait until we go back to the <A href="http://www.brookfieldzoo.org/">Brookfield Zoo</A>! Snowboarding, on the other hand, can wait a little longer, given how well I did on my three practice runs. [<A href="http://www.theshiftedlibrarian.com/">The Shifted Librarian</A>] <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> » The funniest post of the day for me. Almost makes me want to have kids.  Then I snap out of it and come to my senses ;-)</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000573.html Go for it! Fri, 27 Sep 2002 12:35:38 +0100 <A href="http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2002/09/26/boll/index.html?CP=RDF&DN=310">Tom the Dancing Bug</A>. U.S. to bomb Antarctica! [<A href="http://www.salon.com">Salon.com</A>] <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> » Excellent!  For once U.S. foreign policy makes sense!</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000615.html Damn this pervasive liberal hegemony Tue, 08 Oct 2002 08:05:28 +0100 <A href="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2002/10/07/tomo/index.html?CP=RDF&DN=310">This Modern World</A>. Conservatives with an attitude! [<A href="http://www.salon.com/">Salon.com</A>]   <A href="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2002/10/07/tomo/index.html?CP=RDF&DN=310"><IMG alt="Satirical cartoon by Tom Tomorrow" src="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2002/10/07/tomo/story.jpg"></A> With the kind permission of Tom Tomorrow. http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000663.html Next on Fox: Tue, 15 Oct 2002 09:17:00 +0100 <A href="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2002/10/14/tomo/index.html?CP=RDF&DN=310">This Modern World</A>. Fox's latest reality show: American Invasion! [<A href="http://www.salon.com">Salon.com</A>] <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> » great cartoon.</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000722.html "War on Terror Fun Game!" Tue, 26 Nov 2002 22:50:23 +0000 <IMG src="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2002/11/25/tomo/story.jpg"> (Reprinted with the kind permission of Tom Tomorrow)   http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000860.html Emo Phillips Wed, 27 Nov 2002 11:24:42 +0000 For fans of comedian Emo Phillips <A href="http://www.internetfarmhouse.com/emo.htm">here</A> are some of his short pieces.  A couple of my favourites: I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks. -- Emo Phillips I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson. -- Emo Phillips http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000872.html Ah Futurama Wed, 11 Dec 2002 17:39:50 +0000 "Bender that was THE best 40 minutes washboard solo I've ever heard. The parts when I was awake blew my mind." <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> - Beck's head in a jar</BLOCKQUOTE> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000983.html Quick! Do it now!! Thu, 12 Dec 2002 11:04:32 +0000 <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> <A href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/1/hi/uk/2569183.stm">Caption competition</A>. Lady Thatcher was in Washington this week to receive an award. Enter our caption competition by deciding what's being said in this picture. [<A href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/1/hi/uk/default.stm">BBC News | UK | UK Edition</A>]</BLOCKQUOTE> Fantastic :) http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00000987.html They're just like us -- only less so Wed, 22 Jan 2003 10:55:07 +0000 <IMG src="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2003/01/21/tomo/story.jpg"><A href="http://radio.weblogs.com/0104487/2002/11/14.html"></A>Reproduced with the kind permission of Tom Tomorrow http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00001087.html Colour coded alerts Tue, 25 Feb 2003 09:17:12 +0000 <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> <A href="http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2003/02/24/tomo/index.html">This Modern World</A>. Call us crazy, but we've begun to suspect racism didn't disappear with Trent. [<A href="http://www.salon.com">Salon.com</A>]</BLOCKQUOTE> Colour coded alerts all round. http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00001191.html De Vries Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:08:16 +0000 <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> <A href="http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes.php3?author=Peter+De+Vries">Peter De Vries</A>. "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be." [<A href="http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html">Quotes of the Day</A>] [<A href="http://radio.weblogs.com/0110772/">Seb's Open Research</A>]</BLOCKQUOTE> I loved Peter De Vries "The Mackeral Plaza" which I read about 8 or 9 years ago.  It was really an introduction to American humorist writers.  Sadly his books are not easy to come by (my copy of Plaza was quite an old 2nd copy). http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00001258.html I feel a mixed blessing coming my way Mon, 04 Jul 2005 13:54:50 +0100 <a href="http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20050704.html">Heh</a> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00002719.html Basil... Parsley... Ooo! Thyme! Mon, 04 Jul 2005 13:56:26 +0100 <a href="http://www.comics.com//comics/getfuzzy/archive/getfuzzy-20050704.html">Bucky is my hero</a> http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00002720.html Well, it was mostly awful Sat, 24 Sep 2005 10:50:12 +0100 I have to share this <a href="http://bash.org/?540426">little gem</a> from the IRC quotes database:<blockquote>xyzzy314: i got some rare footage of houdini getting locked out of his car</blockquote>Most of these quotes are purile rubbish but this one makes me chuckle every time I see it and, thus, I persevere. http://matt.blogs.it/entries/00002934.html