Emo Phillips
For fans of comedian Emo Phillips here are some of his short pieces. A couple of my favourites:
I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks. -- Emo Phillips
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson. -- Emo Phillips